Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Man is Fatally Slain.
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Deaf mute gets new hearing
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One