“Parents must get across the idea that “I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior.”—Amy Vanderbilt
“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie, not perfect but who’s complaining?”
- Robert Brault.
“I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.”—Fred Allen
“Respect your parents. These guys pay for your internet.”—Unknown
“Teach your kids to spend more time annoying each other so they have less time to spend annoying you.”—Unknown
"In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat." - Anna Quindlen
“Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”
- Martin Mull.
“It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”—Betty White
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”—George Burns
“When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”
- Emo Phillips.
“If you don’t annoy your big sister for no good reason from time to time, she thinks you don’t love her anymore.”—Pearl Cleage
“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”—Bob Hope
“Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”
- Jerry Seinfeld
“You can kid the world, but not your sister.”—Charlotte Gray
“If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that “Members not Present” and “Subjects Discussed” were one and the same.”
- Robert Brault
“Family is just accident...They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”
- Marsha Norman
“I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?”
- Jeff Lindsay.
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold." - Ogden Nash
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them." - George Bernard Shaw
“There is no worse parent than an unhappy parent!”
― Rossana Condoleo
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”—George Carlin
“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.”—Sam Levenson
“A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”—Ogden Nash
“In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”
- Anna Quindlen
“In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families, that they are least two-thirds incontinent.”
- Robert Brault.
"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar
"When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
“If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”—George Bernard Shaw
"Families are like fudge ... mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Unknown
“Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.”
- Sam Levenson
“It’s especially hard to admit that you made a mistake to your parents, because, of course, you know so much more than they do.”—Sean Covey, The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens
“Every family is dysfunctional, whether you want to admit it or not.”
- Shailene Woodley.
“Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern…like bad wallpaper.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche.
"In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry.'" - Margaret Laurence
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”—Prince William
“Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.”
- Douglas Adams.
“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”—Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“Everyone knows that if you’ve got a brother, you’re going to fight.”—Liam Gallagher
“Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off.”
- Ralph Bus.
“Mother-daughter disagreements were, in hindsight, basically mother stating the truth and daughter taking her own sweet time coming around.”—Barbara Delinsky
“Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five.”—Pam Brown
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume control also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
“The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”
- Nancy Mitford
“Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.”—Lewis Mumford
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
“It was nice growing up with someone like you—someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”—Unknown
"If you don't believe in ghosts, you've never been to a family reunion." - Ashleigh Brilliant
“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.”
- Wayne H
“As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices take it or leave it.”
- Buddy Hacket
“What brothers say to tease their sisters has nothing to do with what they really think of them.”—Esther Friesner