“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
"The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails."
- William Arthur Ward
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid."
“There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.”
- Theo Cowan
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
"People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal."
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”
– Emile Ganest
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas."
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
- Mark Twain
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh the same as the boat."