Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled?
The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
How does Moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay? A deviled egg!
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission
Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza?
Jesus can’t be topped.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point?
“I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
What is a dentist’s favorite hymn?
Crown Him with Many Crowns
Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
Need an ark?
I noah guy.
What’s the best way to settle church disputes?
With canons.
Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord?
The Dmin chord.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday? Baby cheeses. (Baby Jesus)
Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple?
It was a bird of pray.
What car make did the Apostles drive?
Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Where was Solomon’s temple located?
On the side of his head.
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.