I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
You know those silly hacker movies where they're hacking so hard they type on two keyboards at once?
Such blatant stereo-typing
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
Being a soprano is a great opera tunity.
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...
Badum chhh
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
Did you hear about the crook who was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
He was just arrested for Petty theft.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
What did the trumpet pharaoh do when his girlfriend told him to pull out?
Toot and come in.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.
Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.