What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What do you call a waffle laying on a beach?
Sandy eggo.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Girls just wanna have sun.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.