Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Did you like my HTTP 200 joke?
It was OK.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
What brand of hand soap do telephone operators use? Dial.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.