What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What do you call a gray animal with big ears and a large trunk?
A traveling mouse.
What do you get if you cut off Mona Lisa's ears?
MONO LISA.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
you can hear the OSHA?
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
I saw a movie about a pig with no eyes.
It was PG.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
A captain was barking at his crew. "What do you think is between yer ears!?"
"Eye Eye, Captain!"
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.