What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
You seem a little mer-mad.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Long time no sea.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!