Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.