Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.