Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? Canned food.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What do you call someone who used to build airplanes in medieval times? Aerosmith!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
After which knight is a town in England named? Sir Rey!
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.