A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."