Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.