Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
It’s raining cats and dogs outside.
I think I just stepped in a poodle.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.