When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
In his beef case
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
Angry cows are usually responsible for giving the farmer sour milk.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
Why was the cow always exercising? To build up its moo-scles
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.