What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
Why was the pig a pathological liar? It’s a porcine-ality disorder.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why was the pig crying? Because he was boar-ed to tears.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What’s the super-confusing way that pigs say I love you? “I a-boar-you.”
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
If pigs learned to fly, would the price of bacon skyrocket?
skyrocket
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Why couldn’t the pig tie his shoelaces? He was too ham-fisted.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”