Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
What is a dog’s favorite brand of whiskey?
Jack Spaniels.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What is the poshest breed of dog?
A Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
My dog went on his first date.
But she was a mal-TEASE.
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
Why did the police dog get promoted?
Because he was the scenter of so many drug arrests.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
That was ruff.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What type of dog can use a phone?
A dial-matian.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.